There is much evidence that Cézanne was an avid reader of Lucretius. But just how far did his commitment to classical atomism go? This article speculates upon the question: what if Cézanne was an Epicurean? How does this change the way we look at his paintings? Limiting myself to the portraits, I try to interpret some of Cézanne’s unusual tropes in the light of Epicurean thinking. In the final section of the paper I contrast some famous interpretations of Cézanne’s work (Roger Fry, Kurt Badt, and Merleau-Ponty) with the classical atomism of Epicurus, as well as some other modern day materialists, in order to tease out the ethical claims embodied in Cézanne’s paintings.